It’s 1 a.m. and again, I cannot sleep. During these hot, dog days of summer I can barely muster an attempt to lay down my sweaty head on my sweaty bed. Instead, I park myself in a kitchen chair facing off against the portable air conditioner, sinking my teeth into yet another dish of frozen blueberries. Oh, what […]
Looks Like Chicken
Ahhh, the end of spring break and the beginning of back to school. Arrgh! Back to the madness of clean laundry, packed lunches and ironed clothes. I still choose my daughter’s outfits as she cares nothing for style and fashion, which is something I greatly care about, but alas, am hopelessly inept at assembling anything fashion […]
Zumb and Zumba
Tonight was the last of my Zumba classes. For the rest of the class, that is. I had my last dance six weeks ago. I contemplated showing up for the final class, you know, just to show I am not a total quitter. But then I got sidetracked by my teriyaki chicken dinner, and my son’s […]
The Land of the Misfit Mom
Demanding Children: Are those for you? Selfless Mama: No, they’re for you. Ungrateful Children: But we don’t like your ’70s stuff. Selfish Mama: OK then, they’re for me. Defensive Children: Noooo! We love the chocolate! It’s just… you’re always trying to make us like stuff from the olden days. Indignant Mama: The Olden Days? The Olden […]
Ski Day
Today’s the day my husband packs up the kids and heads for the hills to ski down the slopes while I stay home and worry myself sick about defective chair lifts, broken ankles, getting lost in the trees, frost bite, and any number of gruesome images that can and will pop into my overprotective head.
Don’t Give Me A Break
This morning I broke the last of the six fruit bowls my Aunt Rose gave me for a shower gift. I was eating frozen peas when the glass slipped from my clumsy clutch and crashed on the living room floor. Not only did I break the bowl, I broke the rules. 1. Standing while eating. 2. […]
Star Fruit – In the Spotlight
With the parade of red carpet celebrations taking place – the Golden Globes, Screen Actors Guild awards and upcoming Oscars – the time is ripe to shine the spotlight on star fruit. Also known as carambola, star fruit is a berry ranging in size from two to six inches long, with five ribs along the […]
Monday Moaning – Put a shovel in it!
I like to take a little time each Monday morning to complain about nothing in particular except the fact that it’s Monday. You see, Monday makes everything worse. What happens on Tuesday is Tolerable. Wednesday? Whatever! Thursday? Throwaway! Friday? Fuggedaboutit! But, being how I am, I need to find the blessings in with the messings; […]
Visions of Sugarplums
I never liked Fig Newtons. They were nothing more than sad excuses for cookies that looked like tar folded into cardboard strips. They weren’t just unappealing, they were downright annoying, taking up valuable space in the cookie cupboard. How I longed to run them down with a box of Wagon Wheels. Although my Mother always […]
Hugs & Knishes
Why, when I have 364 days of the year to prepare for this, am I always drowning in a last-minute wave of Yuletide? I thought for once that this year would be different, as we have dramatically scaled down our festivities. With half of the family out of town, it should be quite a […]
The Peace of Cake
I guess I was about 10 when I started making chocolate layer cakes. I don’t remember if anyone taught me, but I do recall frequently picking up my Mother’s little black cookbook, turning to the page with cocoa smudges and knowing I was in just the right place. I instinctively knew how to measure and […]
Look Before You Heap
To many, this time of year is the beginning of the holiday season filled with family, friends and feasts. But I consider it more of a birthday season, with my son, nephew, mother, uncle and myself all acknowledging another year older as a prelude to the biggest birthday celebration of them all – Christmas! This […]
Monday Morning Meltdown
Save the yogurt for Tuesday! Hold the oatmeal for doomsday! It’s time for me to get back on the burner for hot meal Monday. Although I’ve never been a champion of breakfast, these days I never leave the house without a nibble of this and a swallow of that. And no longer do I start […]
Lap it Up
From what I recall in high school, running laps was about as exciting as writing lines. And yes, it felt a lot like punishment, too. “I will not skip gym class. I will not skip gym class…” 200 times! The last time I ran laps was in grade 10. It was called the 12-minute run […]
The Chatty Fatty
I could go on about food forever. When I am on a typical diet all I can do is talk about food, think about food, look at recipes, and plan what I will eat when I get off my diet. It would be like Day 28 on “Survivor” when the few remaining emaciated contestants see […]
Speaking of Body Language…
No, I’m not talking about what it means when he tilts his head to the left, while raising his right eyebrow as he brushes imaginary lint off your left shoulder. I mean the words we use to describe our undesirable body parts. Those bumpy, lumpy, jiggly, jelly bits we wish were not related to us. […]
Apples to Apples, Mush to Mush
With the fall apple harvest now complete, ’tis the season for applesauce. Or should I say, with the box of soon-to-be rotting apples in my basement, I better get my lazy cheeks in gear and salvage what I can. With visions of applesauce bubbling away on the stovetop, not to mention the sweet aroma wafting […]
Beware the Hallowe’en Gobblin’
Two little green faces stared down at me, each with an identical smirk. I reached to the top shelf of the cupboard and grabbed the kids’ Jack O’ Lantern Hallowe’en baskets. It’s that time of the year when I toss out their uneaten year-old candy to prepare for the next batch of dye-laden, sugary treats. […]
Ahhhh, Chew!
Winter hasn’t even settled in and I already have a cold. Sickness and other times of vulnerability tend to wreak havoc with my healthy eating plans, with all those good intentions flying out the window to get chicken wings to lift my spirits. My favourite comfort food when I’m sick is Chinese Buffet. In fact, […]
Budging the Bulge
I’m thinking of a number between 154 and 156. It’s been appearing each morning on my digital scale for the past two weeks. I can’t get it out of my head, and even worse, I can’t get it off of my hips! I read an online article about the problem of plateaus with advice to […]
What’s Hot in Stoves
Although it’s not uncommon for me to find myself salivating over a hot oven, this time it was the oven itself, not the food that made me drool with envy. The other night I spent a glorious evening at a friend’s party, which showcased a $7.9 million property for one of her clients. The home […]
The Abyss of Obese
Yay! I’m overweight again! So says my trusty obesity calculator. It’s hard to believe that just two months ago (and for the past several years), I was languishing in the abyss of obese. That dark, bottomless pit that had me trapped and grappling to pull myself out with faddy crash diets. Each time I failed, […]
A Bevy of Buffets
Once I went to Vegas and gained five pounds in four days. I blamed the three-meals-a-day of buffets. Tables upon tables of all you can eat treats for hours on end. Why bother with a menu when all that food is readily available right here, right now at your fingertips and fork tines? You don’t […]
An Uphill Battle
Walking is the perfect exercise. And while I’m sure that many doctors and fitness professionals can provide numerous reasons why, to me, it is perfect because it doesn’t feel like exercise. I associate walking with good things like walking to the fridge to sneak the last piece of cake, walking from store to store at […]